Reconciliation Day 2025 - What If We Listened First: Teaching the Art of Hearing Each Other

But the real heart of reconciliation begins with something simple: listening. Not just hearing words, but truly listening to understand, to connect, and to see the world through someone else’s eyes.

Think about the last time you felt deeply heard. Maybe it was a friend who let you vent without interrupting, or a colleague who took the time to understand your point of view before responding. That feeling—the sense that your voice matters—is something every student should experience in the classroom. But too often, conversations turn into debates, and listening becomes waiting for a chance to reply. What if we could change that? What if, instead of speaking first, we taught learners to listen first?

The Classroom as a Listening Space

The classroom is one of the first places where learners learn how to interact with different perspectives. Every day, they sit next to peers with unique backgrounds, cultures, and personal stories. Some may have grown up in the same neighbourhoods, while others might come from completely different worlds. But if they aren’t given the tools to truly hear each other, those differences can feel like walls rather than opportunities for connection.

Educators play a key role in shifting this dynamic. By intentionally creating a culture of deep listening, they can help learners move beyond surface-level conversations into meaningful dialogue. This starts with small, everyday practices, like pausing before responding, asking thoughtful questions, and valuing silence as much as speech.

Teaching Listening as a Skill

Listening should be an active process. Here are a few ways educators can help learners develop this skill in a way that feels natural and engaging:

• Storytelling Circles: Give learners a chance to share personal experiences related to a theme, with one rule: no interruptions. After each story, instead of responding immediately, learners take a moment to reflect before discussing what they learned from the speaker’s experience.
• The “Echo Back” Challenge: Before responding to a peer’s opinion, learners must first summarise what was said in a way that the original speaker agrees with. This ensures that they aren’t just listening to reply but to genuinely understand.
• Silent Conversations: Set up a discussion where learners write their thoughts in a shared document, on a whiteboard, or on sticky notes instead of speaking out loud. This allows them to fully process what others are saying without the pressure to respond immediately.
• Listening Without Judgment: Encourage learners to listen to perspectives they may not agree with without forming a rebuttal in their minds. Have them ask open-ended questions rather than offering their own opinions right away.
• Music and Sound Awareness: Use music or environmental sounds to help learners tune into the act of focused listening. Play different pieces of music and ask learners to describe the emotions, instruments, or subtle details they hear. This trains them to pay attention to nuances, which translates into deeper listening in conversations.
• Paired “Walk and Talks”: Take conversations outside the classroom by pairing learners for a short walk while discussing a topic. Moving while talking can help lower social anxiety and encourage more natural, thoughtful responses. Afterwards, have each student share something they learned about their partner’s perspective.

Reconciliation Starts With Understanding

South Africa’s history is complex, and its future is still being written. The Day of Reconciliation is about looking forward and asking, “How do we build a more connected, empathetic society?” That work starts in the classroom, not with perfect answers, but with a willingness to hear each other.

When learners learn to listen—to really listen—they begin to understand perspectives beyond their own. They start to see their classmates as individuals with stories, struggles, and dreams. And that is where reconciliation truly begins, not in agreements or policies, but in the simple, everyday act of listening with an open heart.

By Chantal Tarling